Today I want to write you an update on my life and recent happenings, and also update you with the newest photoshoot that I recently had. Ever since moving to the United Kingdom I have felt completely lost, I have been swinging between one extreme of crazy happiness to an extreme of a deep sadness and I no longer knew what my purpose in life was. Before, I had always considered myself a happy person and could never understand people saying they felt unhappy, had a bad relationship with food, did not want to go out or tal to anyone. For the first time in life I had lost motivation for exercise for a few months. I still kept on going to the gym and pursued with my certifications but I was questioning what was good for me. I unintentionally lost weight and happened to have crazy low body fat what messed with my mind greatly, therefore causing me a disordered eating mindset.
For a very long time I would lie to my family and friends that everything was alright… Like we all do during hard times right ? I could not sleep normally, eat normally, do my daily activities because whatever I did felt so pointless. I have no idea what caused me to be in such a bad stage in life, I think it must have been a mix of different issues and subconscious stress. But two months ago I made one of my biggest dreams come true. Never had I believed I would have reached this far by the age of 20. I became a personal trainer and gym instructor at one of the leisure centres in my town. I finally met people with similar interest to mine, health freaks like myself and everything went back to being normal. In fact… I am probably the happiest I have ever been, I do not worry about things that I cannot control, I just let life be. I also have more certifications to come in the future that I am looking forward to. Moreover, I have understood that all of us come through hard times in life and finally confessed to myself that maybe help was needed but I would not admit it
For all the young, teenage girls out there having bad body image, disordered eating habits, go and seek for help it is nothing to be ashamed of and I think all of us will go through a tough times when we need help and that is okay. As I am writing this today, I am bloated, tired and probably ate too much. But I am happy as I am, accept myself, seek the cause if I ever get any bad emotions, accept the feeling and just deal with it. I cannot wait for what the future holds, am proud of my past, all the ups and downs and even of what I went through because that gave me a much greater understanding of people’s behaviour and how our inside issues affect our doings.
Stay positive people and love yourself first !